The 12 most questionable Christmas gifts revealed

Have yourself a merry little "Kitschmas".

A list of the 12 most questionable Christmas gifts has been revealed - including "Christ on a Bike", a figurine of Jesus astride a Harley Davidson, with his robes flowing behind him.

The Ship of Fools website - which has compiled its annual list of kitsch Christmas presents - said of the $30 item: "Riding into town on a donkey was all very well in the days of sandals and wearing tea towels on your head. "But today the Messiah who wants to make an impression needs something a bit more."

Also among the gifts is the Hip Flask Bible, which lets worshippers to refresh themselves while pretending to study the psalms. The traditionally bound book opens to reveal a 4oz stainless steel hip flask hidden inside its pages, and is available for $30.

Meanwhile the "thongs of praise", skimpy underwear featuring a picture of the Madonna and child on the front, is priced at $12.99 a pair. The items were handpicked by Stephen Goddard, a former Church of England press officer, and Simon Jenkins, the website's editor, to poke fun at religious kitsch. The site provides links to the various items.

Also on the list is a pin cushion modeled on third-century martyr St Sebastian, which is riddled with arrow holes. It is $12.95.

There is also a Virgin Mary memory stick that plugs into a PC to store computer data. It comes complete with a flashing "sacred heart" for $102.

Another favourite is a calendar in which scantily clad models pose in front of a range of wood coffins, created by a firm of undertakers in Rome. The $14 item is described by the website as the "Pirelli Calendar for morticians".

Also on offer are $99.95 "huggable urns" - teddy bears that unzip at the back to reveal velvet pouches for cremated ashes. The bears are stitched with the words "Hold Me".

A Vatican Board Game - for $39.95 - lets players bid to become the next Pope. Ship Of Fools says: "The game promises to 'unlock the secrets of how men become Pope'."

For those of more Catholic tastes, there is Pope's Cologne, which claims to be based on formula favoured by Pius IX. The website comments: "With notes of violet and citrus, the 150-year-old Vatican toilet water will make a truly fragrant offering for the holy father in your life." It costs $25.95 a bottle.

Or you can buy "holy toast" for breakfast? A special stamp that makes an imprint of the Virgin Mary on the bread before it goes in the toaster. It is priced at $12. There is also the $19.95 Jerusalem Compass that always points the way to the city, so you can ensure your prayers are sent in the right direction.

The collection also includes a nativity scene carved by Palestinians that incorporates a representation of the 230-mile security fence that Israel has erected to deter terrorists. The wise men trapped on the wrong side. It is priced at $25 for a small version, and $100 for a large church version. Holy Ghost Tee Shirts will set you back $37 each.