Posted by Adam

Monday September 21, 2009

Patrick Swayze admits he struggled to come to terms with his cancer diagnosis.

In his new autobiography, the Dirty Dancing star — who died last week after losing his battle with pancreatic cancer — says he couldn’t accept being told he had only months left to live.

“Alot of things go through your head when you’re handed a death sentence, starting with: ‘Why me? What did I do to deserve this?’ I’d been told in January 2008 that I had pancreatic cancer and had only months to live,” Swayze writes.

“In the weeks after diagnosis, I struggled, with my wife Lisa’s help, to make sense of what was happening. To counteract the anger and despair, I thought to myself: ‘I’ve had more lifetimes than ten people put together and it’s been an amazing ride.’

“Then a funny thing happened. I couldn’t accept what was going on. I was damned if this disease was going to take me before I was good and ready. I told my doctor: ‘Show me where the enemy is and I will fight him.’ Since then, that’s what I’ve done, with every ounce of energy I have.

“My family’s roots go way back in Texas. My father Jesse was a cowboy and rodeo champion who got a job with an oil company, later becoming a mechanical engineer.

“My mother Patsy, a choreographer and teacher with the determination of a pit bull, was one of the founders of Houston’s dance scene. I was born in 1952, the second of five children and the eldest boy. All of us worked hard to win Mum’s approval in dance competitions.

“By junior high school, everybody knew I was a dancer. I was called ‘fag’ and beaten up, each time becoming more determined to get those boys back. But it wasn’t until five kids attacked me when I was 12 that Dad gave me the tools for revenge.

“I spent a couple of months learning martial arts and boxing, and when my father thought I was ready, he drove me to school, demanding I be allowed to fight the boys one by one. Times were different then. I won’t deny I was scared — not of getting hurt, but of letting Dad down. I beat all five boys that day and as each left bloody and bruised, I could see flickers of pride cross Dad’s face.

“If there’s one thing I learned from him, it’s that you might not always win, but you never give up. Since that day, I never have.”

Swayze also recalled meeting his wife, Lisa Niemi.

“I first saw Lisa at my mother’s dance studio,” he writes. “I was 19, she was 17. I noticed her right away, with her long blonde hair, lithe dancer’s build and mysterious air. Lisa eventually agreed to a few dates with me, but they were hardly the stuff of great romance.

“Things only heated up later when she moved into the tiny apartment I rented in New York, where we were both studying ballet. Lisa and I married in Houston in 1975, two months after getting engaged. I’d said to her suddenly: ‘Lisa, why don’t we get married? Why don’t we just go ahead and do it?’”

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