Sorry, I know this response is long but worth reading.

God doesn’t take your loved ones away to ‘show you who’s in charge’…..this guy below says it best.

I have heard these kinds of questions many times. Someone gets sick and dies, and the surviving loved one goes on a “Hate God” rampage! You have no more of a right to get angry at God when your loved one dies, then when you stub your toe. Stated differently, it is as logical to get angry at God for stubbing your toe, as it is to be angry at God when your loved one dies.

First lets clear a few things up. Life on earth is not predestined where God chose before the earth was created who would live, and when and how they would die. Fate and predestination are both false doctrines of Calvinism. Second, God did not make your loved one sick, neither did he kill him as a direct act. (Although God does chasten his children when the sin in various ways: Heb 12:4-14.) The fact is, some bad things happen by chance, others because of another’s sin, or because of our own sin or carelessness.

When a sky diver’s parachute doesn’t open, we realize that mechanical things don’t always work the way they should and sometimes people die as a result. When a person talks on a cell phone while driving, drinking a cup of coffee and glancing at the paper in the passenger side of the front seat, and they run into the back of a parked truck, we realize that our own careless can kill us. When an innocent person is shot by a bank robber, we realize that another’s sin can kill us. When we have certain allergies, and are stung by a bee or eat a peanut, we realize that our genetic code can kill us. When we by chance, come in contact with a contagious disease, we realize that such encounters can kill us. When we smoke 1 pack of cigarettes per day and die of lung cancer at 35, we have committed a form of suicide, where no one is to blame but ourselves.

When people ask, “Why would God allow my husband to die of a disease at age 40?” they are asking the wrong question. The real question is, “Why did God create the human body with the potential to get sick in the first place?” People die of disease, because God created us that way at the beginning. All men are in a kind of “life lottery”, where we really don’t know how we will die. God knows, but that doesn’t mean he is specifically picking on you or your family. All men are in the same state. Every man that eats a deadly poison dies, but not every one who is stung by a bee dies. Most smokers die of a smoking related disease 10-40 years before they would have, had they not smoked, but a tiny percentage are apparently unaffected. Aids kills most homosexuals stone dead, but some people are immune to the aides virus. So the real question is not why we died, but why God allowed us to even get sick as a function of the human body!

But does God care when we are sick or grieve the loss of a loved one? What an offensive thought! How dare you! You have sinned for even thinking this and are in need of repentance! Yes you are grieving right now, but how dare you blame it on God and think he doesn’t even care! Remember, God originally provided a perfect home of eternal life in paradise in the Garden of Eden and MAN’S own sin got him kicked out. Have you ever sinned? Jesus, on the other hand, never did sin, but He died for our sins. God gave his only son in death, so we might have life! What we see in this world is not eternity but a temporary state of things.

When Stephen was being stoned to death in Acts 7:56 by the future Apostle Paul, he cried out to Jesus, not for himself, but for those who were sinning against him. Notice however, that Stephen saw Jesus STANDING at the right hand of the Father. Normally, Jesus would sit on his throne, but just like us, he was “standing on the edge of his toes” in concern for Stephen! Its ok to grieve, but don’t blame God. We live in a world where sometimes things just happen.

But what about your prayers? You prayed for God to heal your loved one of Cancer and he died instead! God answers prayers with: Yes, No, Wait, or something else. Why do you get angry when God says, “No, I will not answer your prayer…your loved one will die?” You had enough faith and you prayed perfect prayers, but sometimes God SAYS NO! Other times God might extend life, but sooner or later, WE ALL MUST DIE. Are you praying for eternal life on earth? Hezekiah was very sick in 1 Kings 20 and likely prayed to get better. God answered, NO: “Set your house in order, for you shall die and not live.” (v1) Hezekiah, however prayed again and this time God answered: “I will add fifteen years to your life” v6 God still answered NO, but gave an extension of life to the sick man. How do you know God didn’t answer your prayer by giving your loved one a few extra months, he otherwise without your prayer, wouldn’t have gotten!

God loves you and cares for you, but we all must die. Set your hopes on what is above, not the earth. 2 Cor 4:16-18

“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”