Chris Noth I have to tell you, that you have missed out,
the wee bird MacNoth has been putting it about!
I think that this cover up, has confused all your fans,
it was the colour that did it, that light varnish tan!

The likeness is uncanny, he is getting stopped in the street,
the punters are asking, when is his next tweet!
He gives them a nod, and a cheeky wee grin,
not too much, for it will crack his top skim!

The paps are all fighting for a glimpse of wee mac,
sometimes, he feels that he is under attack!
One at a time he tweets to them loudly,
looking back over, he winks at me proudly!

He is definetely happy, in his new life,
he should have been married, with four weans and a wife!
He leaves me wee presents, wee bundles of trill,
wrapped up in nice tissue, up there on the cill.

I rent him out, to host as main tweeter,
he loves the attention, he wonderful speaker!,
There’s great things ahead, for this wee fella.
so long as the varnish, keeps out the yellow!

On Monday, he got his first real audition,
he went in confidant, with a special rendition.
Its about birds in New York, with no civil rights there,
I thinks its a name like, “Claw and order”!

There’s another wee show he’s thinking about,
he not sure though, if it has any clout!
Its about birds in New York and how they get scitty.
the name escapes me…oh yes, “Pex in the City”!

I think it is time now, for an independant film,
low budget production, will sure make him squirm!
The scripts are red hot, and flying off the press.
he secretly worried, that he’ll have to undress!

For a scraggy wee bird, he buffed up quite good,
some time and effort, produced a cool looking dude!
An electric polisher, for a sheen on the top,
matched the spit and polish that I gave to his mop!

Chris Noth, you should go and take an audition,
perhaps for the part, of a family addition!
He will certainly be pleased, to be next to a pro,
I believe you could help him, and sure make him glow!

How much would you want, for this type of part,
I could give you 10 quid, now it’s just for a start!
but If you become, a regular guest star,
I’ll be able, to afford you second-hand car!

I know that your looking, for a new show,
would you be interested, in this, c’mon, have a go!
You could be the producer, director as well,
the camcorder is ready, I don’t think it fell!

Wee mac is spitting out feathers,
gasping for air, its hot in his leathers!
He is trying his best, to get you to notice,
but the camera is duff, it’s a bit out of focus!

He is trying to direct, its a bit ‘avant garde’,
On his low budget, its difficult and hard!
The production is slow and could do with some lube,
the first airing of this show, you will find on ‘youtube’!

Watch out for him now, I think he’ll be big.
Look at him twitting, up there on his twig.
His pals are excited at this new launched Mac,
Tweeting contently when hitting the sack!

Now Chris Noth, If you need a break,
I’ll give you him free and he can act as your fake!
Its the least I can do, considering all things there,
He’ll take on your role, with a wing and a prayer!

He studied you closely cause you’re his hero, you see,
he can fill in your shoes, for two weeks maybe three!
Now scoop up your lassie and your wee bonnie wean,
Off to the hills, or some dried oot prairie plain!

Relax and enjoy, some quality time,
Wee MacNoth, has got the papzi’s in line.
If things get rowdy, or he feels he cant cope,
He’ll tweet you a sign and you can throw him a rope!

Wee Chris MacNoth, is getting very successful,
to be completely honest, he is getting quite stressful!
I think I will send him, on a wee vacation,
A bus trip I think, throughout this great nation!

He can play some Golf, perhaps at Fairmont,
A wee break at the ninth, and a drink from the font!
or he can check out some Lochs, for the monster “nessie”,
I can see him now hiding, he’s a bit of a jessie!

I’m sure his wee kilt, is the first thing he packs,
first out of the case and on to the rack!
A wee matching tie, for evening attire,
not forgetting, his sporran, wedged under his tyre!

I’m thinking of selling, off his rights,
when mentioned at first, he took awful fright!
Perhap’s at the moment, he is not quite ready,
I’ll keep him a bit longer, until he’s more steady.

A future contract, with HBO,
Perhaps, CBS would make Foxy glow!
The contract is simple, it would be 50/50,
bring on the royalties, now that would be nifty!

Now for all the distributers, don’t all rush at once,
I know that new talent, is worth a second glance.
There’s a queue forming, it’s gone around the block.
the distributers are buzzing with excitable talk!

I just have to warn you, that wee mac is young at heart,
He’s just out of nappies, ach well it’s a start!
Accidents do happen, when he has a wee wee,
a big varnished birdie, that you’ll just have to see!

Now Chris Noth, if you were to agree,
no expense will be spared, very lavish you see!
I will break out a special dish, a family heirloom,
as much Haggis fritters, as you can consume!

Followed by “Tunnocks”, and a glass of the “bru”,
no, let me remind you, its been broke out by few!
So if your willing, for some arty art.
give me a tweet, so can make a fast start!

No OFFENCE INTENDED – Kuriouscat.