Absolutely, Unequivocally, And Unquestionably 0 Chance Of Donald Trump Becoming President Says Stephen Colbert

SHARE

The odds of you being attacked and killed by a shark is about 1 in 3,748,067. The odds of you being struck by lightning in a given year is 1 in 1,190,000. Winning the power ball, you have a 1 in 292,000,000 chance. But Donald Trump becoming our next president? Well according to Late Night talk show host, Stephen Colbert, you and I have a better chance at already have been abducted by aliens (believe it or not this is actually a statistical chance) than for the Donald to becoming the leader of the free world. On CBS This Morning Stephen Colbert was quoted “Yeah, because there’s a less than zero chance that Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States and I have to imagine that the Republic will roll on,”. Which brings us to the important question here. What exactly is less than 0 chance? Where space time stops and negative matter begins? Or maybe the point of crossing the event horizon and turning around and seeing yourself fall through the black hole. Or perhaps it’s just the life of some rich young college student who has returned to his hometown of Los Angeles for winter break during the early 1980s.

But just for good measure here’s some other statistical probabilities: There’s a 1 in 10^10^50 (theory of the number of possible universes) chance that I am actually Batman in an alternative universe. But also to be fair the same odds are for Star Wars to be a true story somewhere. But here’s a real kicker, the odds of you even existing at all are basically, well, zero. That pretty much makes you a miracle. So go forth you miracle person you.

1 in 1,000,000